Leonard Sánchez, oral interview with Paola Reyes, Ontario, California, April 30, 2015. Digital recording.

Leonard Sánchez is the son of Miguel Antonio Sánchez, a Marine Corps Vietnam War veteran who passed away on Veterans Day 2013. Mr. Sánchez shares his and his family’s experience with the Vietnam War and the impact it had on his father’s life.

Mr. Sánchez’s parents met after his mother and aunt decided to follow an advertisement in a Cosmopolitan magazine that suggested they write to soldiers fighting in Vietnam. The letter his mom wrote reached his dad, who then suggested they meet up when he returned home. Mr. Sánchez’s parents met and eventually married when his mom was around the age of 19. Mr. Sánchez was the first of two sons.

Mr. Sánchez recalls living in Barstow, California, where his father was stationed. Though young, he witnessed what he calls the “tumultuous relationship” his parents had, which eventually lead to their separation. Thus, for the majority of his childhood, Mr. Sánchez was raised by a single mother in the area around La Puente, California.

Though Mr. Sánchez’s father disappeared after the separation, he is able to recall some of the details of his father’s involvement in the Vietnam War as his father sporadically shared some of them. His dad volunteered for two terms of service. Mr. Sánchez rationalizes that this was to prove himself and his manhood to Mr. Sánchez’s grandfather, who was a World War II veteran. He recalls seeing a picture his father had sent to Mr. Sánchez’s grandmother that read “Tell dad I’m working hard here.”

The effects the war had on Mr. Sánchez’s father and his family were more poignant upon the veteran’s return from Vietnam. Growing up, Mr. Sánchez remembers his dad’s absence, which was difficult to rationalize and cope with.

Mr. Sánchez remembers his father having much pride in having served in Vietnam as a Marine Corps. He explains that his father would often talk about his time in the war “like he was fresh out.” Similarly, Mr. Sánchez recalls other veterans that his father hung out with at the Veterans of Foreign Wars speaking in a similar manner. Though Mr. Sánchez was present for many of these story-telling events, he often did not pay much attention. He explains:

“I always had this veil. It was almost like Vietnam was above us in the hierarchy of his concerns. He cared more about having served in the war and being a veteran and being in Vietnam than he did about his own kids.”

This feeling led Mr. Sánchez to ignore his father as he spoke of the war, which now makes these stories clouded for him. He remembers bits and pieces of information and is regretful that he did not pay more attention and that he did not seek a greater understanding of why his father was the way he was. He says, “The war affected [my father] in a way none of us can understand… There’s so much I don’t know and so much I want to know.”

Mr. Sánchez was able to forgive his father for his absence before his father’s passing, an act Mr. Sánchez attributes to a Bible study he and his wife attend regularly. Mr. Sánchez was able to witness his father be a great grandfather to Mr. Sánchez’s two daughters, which he speaks of contently.

The death of his father affected Mr. Sánchez in an unexpected magnitude. He reflects on how the war affected his father and, consequently, his father’s loved ones:

“I don’t want to blame Vietnam, but we kind of blame Vietnam. That’s what’s been so difficult: what happened to him when he was in the war? Whatever happened to him when he was in the war affected him so that it affected… It’s almost like these shockwaves, you know? And it affects his marriage and his and his relationship with his family. It keeps going on.”

Perhaps one of the positive “shockwaves” caused by his father’s involvement in the Vietnam War is Mr. Sánchez’s desire to be a better father to his daughters than his father was to him. He voices a desire to visit Vietnam so he can see “things that [his] dad experienced that [he] will never experience. Those are contributions to why his father was the way he was.” Mr. Sánchez acknowledges that the war greatly affected his father in ways that his father had to live with for the rest of his life.

As one of his closing thoughts, Mr. Sánchez states his firm belief that “there are no accidents in the universe.” He believes it was not an accident for his mom’s letter to reach his dad and it was no accident for him to be recalling his experiences as the son of a Vietnam War veteran.